Last Week In The Premier League…

Another week in the English Premier League has come to a close – here’s a quick roundup of what’s going on in the biggest football league in the world.

Conte’s Chelsea on 🔥

September wasn’t a great month for Chelsea, as the club collected just a single point in the league, and the backline was absolutely spineless, giving up at least two goals in all three matches. The solitary point was taken at Swansea, despite leading 2-0 at halftime.

In October, Chelsea look like legitimate title contenders, winning all four league games and didn’t allow a single goal. Eden Hazard is back to his goal-scoring ways, already tallying more goals (5) than he had during last season (4), and the backline looks a lot better in the new 3-4-3 formation; Gary Cahill had zero fuck-ups this month, as it seems like he’s finally got his footballing head on. Diego Costa is doing his thing, scoring goals just about every week, and Chelsea now see themselves just a point behind league leaders Manchester City. As usual, the Premier League title race is going to be a tight one.

Trouble in Manchester

Speaking of Manchester, Jose Mourinho’s United side are in trouble; having taken just three points in their last four league matches, the Red Devils are in pitiful form. Well, they should have taken three points from Burnley, but their goalkeeper Tom Heaton was on one, saving goals left and right, as United forced 37 shots, with Heaton saving 11 of them. Not a single goal was conceded in the match, although Burnley should have gotten battered; Jose and his boys are not to blame for that one, as Heaton was an unstoppable force, but you have to wonder what is next for United.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic hasn’t bagged a goal in ages, and Paul Pogba has been relatively invisible, although his stats don’t indicate that; his pass accuracy is on par with his Juventus stats, but most of them are horizontal passes, and when he’s not on the ball, he hasn’t been effective. Maybe the money has gotten to his head, or he’s just practicing his celebration dances with Jese Lingaard too much. Either way, Manchester need to see the ‘Pogboom’ version of the French midfielder.

Eighth in the table and eight points behind Manchester City, trouble is brewing for the red half of Manchester.

Klopp’s Energized Liverpool

It’s no surprise that Jürgen Klopp’s charisma and energy have translated over to his players, and the Reds are in fantastic form, winning 6 out of their last 7 league matches. Their sole, goalless draw against Manchester United was the only time they failed to score less than 2 goals during that time, and everyone in the midfield and up have been on fire.

Roberto Firmino is proving himself to be a rising star in the Premiership, having scored five goals across all competitions, and his dazzling play has surely inspired the guys around him; Liverpool are in title-contending form, and that’s a scary thought for everyone in the top quarter of the table.

While the backline hasn’t been impenetrable, as long as the goals keeping coming and they maintain control of the ball, Klopp’s club are a side you don’t take lightly.

David Moyes Really Blows At Managing

Over a quarter of the way into the season, Sunderland are in historically poor form, as they’ve collected an embarrassing 2 points from 10 matches. On average they’ve given up 2 goals a game, and have a -13 goal difference; those stats are clear indicators of a team headed for the drop to the Championship, but there’s still a ways to go in the campaign.

David Moyes is proving again his lack of managing prowess, as his side are one of the worst the Premier League has ever seen; when you look at every club from all four of England’s top divisions, Sunderland are the only club without a win. Newport County, League 2’s worst side, has TWO wins and just a -6 goal difference, scoring 16 and giving up 22.

David Moyes, when you’re sitting in a darkened room, contemplate that.

While the Black Cats avoided the drop last year, that was thanks to Big Sam Allardyce, although he’s not really available for coaching positions right now…

Sunderland face Bournemouth on Saturday – maybe Moyes can learn something from Eddie Howe, who’s 15 years his junior, and much, much better at managing.


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